I remember when my twins were Morgan's age. They were as different as night and day. Bobby had an affection for trees. I use that word loosely. There was a rather large oak right outside his bedroom window. He would cry if the blinds were not open so he could see his tree. When he started walking, one of the first things he did was meet the tree. He would hug it, talk to it, make up stories about this tree. He truly loved trees. Not just this one, but any tree.
Six years and 20 months later his baby brother Morgan is beginning to explore the great outdoors. And he is discovering trees! I watched him meet grass, water puddles, flowers, dragonflies, but the most wondrous expression came over his face when he hugged his first tree.
We walk to school every day, Morgan and I. He in his little stroller and me humming and chattering behind him. Our neighborhood is full of trees, in fact most of the way to the school is overhung with oaks, pines, forsythia and other flowering trees. Morgan like to look at them. He likes to play with flying blossoms in Spring and now he is beginning to notice the shades of olive, brown, and gold that are popping up in leaves everywhere.
I have to say it was a very long walk because Morgan had to check every bush, every plant, every flower he came in contact with so the stroller made frequent stops. When we finally arrived, a good 30 minutes after leaving, Morgan wanted out. I strongly suspect his days of being wheeled around are long gone. He is now an independent explorer out to conquer the world!
Or at least what he can see of it.
The first this he did after his feet touched the ground was hug a tree. It was a narrow tree, not sure what variety, just a tree. Morgan didn't seem to mind. The tree didn't seem to mind. All was good. It made us a couple of minutes late snagging his brothers from school, but how often did he have a chance to bond with tall leafy woodsy things. Of all the times for me to leave the digital at home, this was one of the times I wished I had not.
Morgan didn't just hug the tree, he explored every inch his little hands could find. He played with the roots, the leaves, the thin branches that hung over and were low enough for him to reach, the little gnome door at the base, there was very little Morgan did not notice about the tree. His eye were lit up, his smile huge, and his head back as far as he could possibly get it to try and see the top of the tree.
A few minutes later we snagged his brothers and were off and the adventure began all over again. Bobby chattered with Morgan about his favorite trees and asked questions about Morgan's tree. Morgan had a happy excited squeal for every one.
Watching my son embrace Nature the way I did and the way my youngest twin did also does my heart good. It makes me proud to know that another generation will grow up loving trees, seeing faces in the branches and bark, and being still to hear their wisdom. While one son asks if there was a Goddess in the tree, the other is just beginning to explore his world. One day he will ask me the same thing. I will tell him to close his eyes and listen, Her voice is in the breezes and Her face is in the leaves.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
The Metamorphosis of Morgan
Just 18 months ago I was waiting patiently...ok not so much...for my little squirming squid person to emerge and gift me with a big smile and lots of funny noises. I couldn't wait for my ultrasounds to show me how my little one had grown and changed, moving from what appeared to be a black eyed pea, then a sea monkey, then an alien, and finally something recognizable as a little boy. It seemed like in a brief amount of time he had bloomed like a little flower.
Today Morgan had his first hair cut, thanks to Mrs. Armstrong's ninth and tenth grade Cosmetology classes, and I once again watched my little son change right before my eyes. Like most mommies, I'm convinced that my children are the most beautiful, intelligent, and special imps on the face of the Earth. Every little milestone is a celebration. With my twin sons on vacation with Daddy, my little one and I have spent tons of q-time together today. I made him a special breakfast with whole wheat pancakes, sliced fruit eyes, and a bacon mouth. Yes it's smiles all over for my littlest angel.
Today probably wasn't the best day to schedule a milestone. Really it wasn't. I've had the battle of the tonsils raging in my throat most of the week and unfortunately it's taken its toll. My energy level is nonexistent, but Morgan is as Morgan always is. Beautiful, happy, and full of energy. Like most moms, I tend to push myself well past my comfort level to tend to the short people in my life. So today didn't start out with the same smiley face that Morgan had for breakfast.
Nonetheless, the day progressed with much playing, reading, and pretending to be the mommysaurus that makes little boys run, squeal, and giggle. We spent a lot of the day hanging out together and watching Dead Like Me while he napped beside me. I have to say I spent most of the time looking at him more than the series. Morgan has wonderful coloring and full round cheeks. He smiles in his sleep often and has a habit of reaching out for mommy's hand every chance he gets. It's moments like this that make the drudging out of bed in the morning well worth it. He has this wonderful, very fine, silvery blond hair that is beginning to take on a hint of copper. When he was born he was nearly bald. He had very fine sprigs of stark white hair all over his head. Even his brows were white. In fact they were so pale I didn't think he had lashes or brows for several months. It took even longer for his hair to come in. Once it did though, it came in beautiful, straight, and shimmering. I dreaded the moment when I would have to take him to a barber to cut his hair.
My twins had long hair from birth. Long dark curling locks that made everyone ask if they were girls. They had their first hair cut before we left the hospital. I still have their first curls labeled and carefully framed in their scrapbook. Morgan's hair was down to his shoulders. Time for the inevitable chopping of the hair. And so the obligatory BK burger, fries, and favorite sippy cup made their appearance.
The first cut is always the worst. It's no different in any aspect of life and certainly not when you're starting a hair cut, especially your child's. But Morgan was happy and busily chirping back at Diego and his baby dinosaur when the snipping began. It took all of ten minutes.
In those short moments my little toddler went from being a new runner to a little boy. He's no longer my baby. He's now officially on his way to growing up. It seemed like so much had happened in the moments it took me to snip his hair, layer it, and brush it off. In a few months he'll be potty trained and on his way to toddler school. Then pre-k. Then another first day of school. All of it baby steps that seem to happen too quickly.
There's a lot of mixed feelings there. Sadness versus pride I suppose. On the one hand it's just a hair cut but on the other it's another step to independence. One day my little butterfly is crawling along a leaf and the next he'll fly away to make his own path in the world. Until then, I try to keep track of every little thing. I don't want to miss a moment. So much changes in just seconds.
Today Morgan had his first hair cut, thanks to Mrs. Armstrong's ninth and tenth grade Cosmetology classes, and I once again watched my little son change right before my eyes. Like most mommies, I'm convinced that my children are the most beautiful, intelligent, and special imps on the face of the Earth. Every little milestone is a celebration. With my twin sons on vacation with Daddy, my little one and I have spent tons of q-time together today. I made him a special breakfast with whole wheat pancakes, sliced fruit eyes, and a bacon mouth. Yes it's smiles all over for my littlest angel.
Today probably wasn't the best day to schedule a milestone. Really it wasn't. I've had the battle of the tonsils raging in my throat most of the week and unfortunately it's taken its toll. My energy level is nonexistent, but Morgan is as Morgan always is. Beautiful, happy, and full of energy. Like most moms, I tend to push myself well past my comfort level to tend to the short people in my life. So today didn't start out with the same smiley face that Morgan had for breakfast.
Nonetheless, the day progressed with much playing, reading, and pretending to be the mommysaurus that makes little boys run, squeal, and giggle. We spent a lot of the day hanging out together and watching Dead Like Me while he napped beside me. I have to say I spent most of the time looking at him more than the series. Morgan has wonderful coloring and full round cheeks. He smiles in his sleep often and has a habit of reaching out for mommy's hand every chance he gets. It's moments like this that make the drudging out of bed in the morning well worth it. He has this wonderful, very fine, silvery blond hair that is beginning to take on a hint of copper. When he was born he was nearly bald. He had very fine sprigs of stark white hair all over his head. Even his brows were white. In fact they were so pale I didn't think he had lashes or brows for several months. It took even longer for his hair to come in. Once it did though, it came in beautiful, straight, and shimmering. I dreaded the moment when I would have to take him to a barber to cut his hair.
My twins had long hair from birth. Long dark curling locks that made everyone ask if they were girls. They had their first hair cut before we left the hospital. I still have their first curls labeled and carefully framed in their scrapbook. Morgan's hair was down to his shoulders. Time for the inevitable chopping of the hair. And so the obligatory BK burger, fries, and favorite sippy cup made their appearance.
The first cut is always the worst. It's no different in any aspect of life and certainly not when you're starting a hair cut, especially your child's. But Morgan was happy and busily chirping back at Diego and his baby dinosaur when the snipping began. It took all of ten minutes.
In those short moments my little toddler went from being a new runner to a little boy. He's no longer my baby. He's now officially on his way to growing up. It seemed like so much had happened in the moments it took me to snip his hair, layer it, and brush it off. In a few months he'll be potty trained and on his way to toddler school. Then pre-k. Then another first day of school. All of it baby steps that seem to happen too quickly.
There's a lot of mixed feelings there. Sadness versus pride I suppose. On the one hand it's just a hair cut but on the other it's another step to independence. One day my little butterfly is crawling along a leaf and the next he'll fly away to make his own path in the world. Until then, I try to keep track of every little thing. I don't want to miss a moment. So much changes in just seconds.
Friday, July 1, 2011
manifesting art
Today was the beginning of a long weekend. We spent the majority of it clearing out items, preparing smudges and incenses for Lughnassadh and drafting wedding decorations. Our morning was full of cold fresh fruit, Southern style French toast, and the beginnings of a refreshing sun tea. We eat as many meals as possible outside in the shade of our patio. It's a family thing and this weekend we'll be erecting a canopy and mosquito netting in neon colors to ensure more family meals outside during hot Summer dog days.
Our family is a family of crafters, creators, co-creators, and artists in every sense of the word. We love to get our hands dirty, covered in paint, glue, glitter, clay, it doesn't matter really. We dive in and worry about the mess later. Today we ventured out to the Coastal Gardens and Bamboo Farm. It was wonderful! The air was clean and smelled like fresh turned earth. Larry and I found a spot we are in love with and hope to get married there in a couple of months. We spent a couple of hours there just browsing the flowers and gardens. It was beautiful and peaceful very inspiring. I've been wanting to make a mobile for a while, something sparkly and twinkly that shoots rainbows of light all over the kitchen. Something about watching a lotus dance on the breeze inspired me. I want to make a mobile that has words of manifestation written into it so when it dances it sends those things into the world!
I have prayer flags in my back yard, but this is something different and sparkly and magical. It's something all of my friends and family can be a part of. I foresee a party with tea and little cakes, fancy little sandwiches, and fresh fruit and tons of crafting. I can see blessings and words of wisdom inscribed on shimmering shells and old cds and strung up as pieces of art with crystals and stones and beads galore. I can see my friends and family manifesting art that well, manifests in not only our lives but the lives of everyone the breeze touches. The energy and love put into it will be palpable and that is what brings wishes into being. Not really the words, or the images, beads, or wire. It's the intent and the love. The genuine caring of one human being for another and for our fellow humans. This is what makes things happen. What brings wishes into fruition.
Dreams really do come true.
Our family is a family of crafters, creators, co-creators, and artists in every sense of the word. We love to get our hands dirty, covered in paint, glue, glitter, clay, it doesn't matter really. We dive in and worry about the mess later. Today we ventured out to the Coastal Gardens and Bamboo Farm. It was wonderful! The air was clean and smelled like fresh turned earth. Larry and I found a spot we are in love with and hope to get married there in a couple of months. We spent a couple of hours there just browsing the flowers and gardens. It was beautiful and peaceful very inspiring. I've been wanting to make a mobile for a while, something sparkly and twinkly that shoots rainbows of light all over the kitchen. Something about watching a lotus dance on the breeze inspired me. I want to make a mobile that has words of manifestation written into it so when it dances it sends those things into the world!
I have prayer flags in my back yard, but this is something different and sparkly and magical. It's something all of my friends and family can be a part of. I foresee a party with tea and little cakes, fancy little sandwiches, and fresh fruit and tons of crafting. I can see blessings and words of wisdom inscribed on shimmering shells and old cds and strung up as pieces of art with crystals and stones and beads galore. I can see my friends and family manifesting art that well, manifests in not only our lives but the lives of everyone the breeze touches. The energy and love put into it will be palpable and that is what brings wishes into being. Not really the words, or the images, beads, or wire. It's the intent and the love. The genuine caring of one human being for another and for our fellow humans. This is what makes things happen. What brings wishes into fruition.
Dreams really do come true.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Freedom
I suppose this is a very timely post. Yes timely indeed. I know a lot of you don't know me. That's ok. You probably will by the time I've completed a few posts. I'm a happy mommy of three. Twin six year old boys and an 18 month old that is enjoying his first steps of freedom...running. Everything is urgent. Everything now has to be done quickly and with a big smile. I don't remember ever feeling that. I was too short I guess. But I've experienced a rebirth of sorts. I'm recently divorced and having spent the better part of the last three years in the midst of a nasty divorce that turned into a custody battle, I feel like I'm experiencing running for the first time.
Much like my little one, everything feels urgent. Everything has to be done immediately and with a big smile. I'm in the process of planning a wedding, a party to revitalize our home with fresh paint, and jumping head first into a world I've been missing for the last three years. I'm in love with my best friend, my rock, and the kindest soul I've ever met. I am thoroughly enjoying being a mommy and watching my sons grow and flourish. Everything they do is amazing. They have a zest and joy for life that is unstoppable. It is contagious!
I created my blog completely missing the impending Independence Day festivities. I'm not sure what we will be doing that day, but you'd better believe we will be celebrating freedom. You see a lot of my friends and family have died over the years defending it. A lot of us have freedoms that we are barely even aware that we have. I am very aware of it because when you have to fight for something you suddenly realize how fragile freedom really is. It took a court of law to say I have the freedom to be my sons' mother and I have the right to teach my sons a religion that is Constitutionally protected. I've had many, many Independence Days in my life. None of them will be quite like this one or mean as much.
My little ones are zooming around outside, amongst the flowers and under the trees blissfully enjoying the liberating feeling of the wind in their outstretched arms and the weightless way it feels when they leap into the air. Children come with limitless love, limitless compassion, and boundless joy. I think as we grow older we build little cages that grow into bigger cages. We forget that feeling of weightlessness. We lose that joy and with it we lose our compassion. In short, we give up our freedom to be happy and to affect the lives of others so the joy is, well, contagious. This weekend I'm going back to that simple place. I will run and leap and giggle and sing silly songs for no other reason than because I have the freedom to do so! I will wear sweet white cotton and dance under the stars.I realize more completely than ever before with the help of my little dancing elves that freedom is as much of a state of mind as anything else.
For me, Independence Day doesn't come on the fourth of July. It came on Summer Solstice.
Next time I will be perkier. I promise. :)
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