I suppose this is a very timely post. Yes timely indeed. I know a lot of you don't know me. That's ok. You probably will by the time I've completed a few posts. I'm a happy mommy of three. Twin six year old boys and an 18 month old that is enjoying his first steps of freedom...running. Everything is urgent. Everything now has to be done quickly and with a big smile. I don't remember ever feeling that. I was too short I guess. But I've experienced a rebirth of sorts. I'm recently divorced and having spent the better part of the last three years in the midst of a nasty divorce that turned into a custody battle, I feel like I'm experiencing running for the first time.
Much like my little one, everything feels urgent. Everything has to be done immediately and with a big smile. I'm in the process of planning a wedding, a party to revitalize our home with fresh paint, and jumping head first into a world I've been missing for the last three years. I'm in love with my best friend, my rock, and the kindest soul I've ever met. I am thoroughly enjoying being a mommy and watching my sons grow and flourish. Everything they do is amazing. They have a zest and joy for life that is unstoppable. It is contagious!
I created my blog completely missing the impending Independence Day festivities. I'm not sure what we will be doing that day, but you'd better believe we will be celebrating freedom. You see a lot of my friends and family have died over the years defending it. A lot of us have freedoms that we are barely even aware that we have. I am very aware of it because when you have to fight for something you suddenly realize how fragile freedom really is. It took a court of law to say I have the freedom to be my sons' mother and I have the right to teach my sons a religion that is Constitutionally protected. I've had many, many Independence Days in my life. None of them will be quite like this one or mean as much.
My little ones are zooming around outside, amongst the flowers and under the trees blissfully enjoying the liberating feeling of the wind in their outstretched arms and the weightless way it feels when they leap into the air. Children come with limitless love, limitless compassion, and boundless joy. I think as we grow older we build little cages that grow into bigger cages. We forget that feeling of weightlessness. We lose that joy and with it we lose our compassion. In short, we give up our freedom to be happy and to affect the lives of others so the joy is, well, contagious. This weekend I'm going back to that simple place. I will run and leap and giggle and sing silly songs for no other reason than because I have the freedom to do so! I will wear sweet white cotton and dance under the stars.I realize more completely than ever before with the help of my little dancing elves that freedom is as much of a state of mind as anything else.
For me, Independence Day doesn't come on the fourth of July. It came on Summer Solstice.
Next time I will be perkier. I promise. :)
