It has been a long year and 11 months since my last post. You know the Southern saying, "Life is like a box of chocolates." ? Well, it is really and this post is particularly a bittersweet piece. Full of nuts, rich deep, nearly black, dark chocolate, with a hint of that thick, syrupy, sweetness confectioners and chocolatiers are so fond of. I'm going to start my first post of 2013 and over 11 months, with this thought. Even though the first taste may be bitter, there is always that sticky sweetness to look forward to.
I've lived in Savannah for over 12 years, in fact this will be lucky 13. I love Savannah, most of the time anyway, but before I lived here I lived in a tiny two road, no traffic light, little town (read Incorporation) called Devereaux. It was tiny and everyone knew or were related to everyone else. So when I started moving through my divorce everyone knew and everyone knew before I did. I worked in the ER for five years, only to arrive one day to find chains on the doors. My third job as domestic Goddess of local doctor's offices died as one doctor after the other left town to relocate in other areas.
All the signs were there. It was time to move. Out came a map, a pin, and within days I'd located an apartment and were making arrangements to move to Savannah. Within the month I would be in my new home with my little dog Casey, who was a blind, bow-legged, fur based bundle of goulash. My room mate at the time had a little dog. A Yorkie. Casey loved this Ewok on four legs. It didn't take long to realize that Casey, who was an abuse survivor, had come out of his shell because he had this little dog to play and socialize with. When we left, he would not have this companionship. I started thinking of options for him. I didn't want to leave him alone in a strange apartment while I was at work.
I extended my concerns to the Universe and it answered. In blaring, biting, black and white clarity.
A few days before I moved I found this small bundle of black and white fur and bright yellow eyes. He was a fuzzy little thing, but skinny and seemed to be missing teeth. He seemed to be a bit lethargic and had this nasty ooze coming from his eyes and ears. He was a sad creature. The sort you see and can't decide what to do about. Infested with all manner of biting creatures, I felt compelled to share my dinner with him. He he ate and snorted and sneezed and finally after a few minutes, threw it all back up...or at least most of it. My heart sank. I was hoping a good meal would help his situation, but it seemed he was so badly malnounrished his stomach couldn't handle food. I grabbed a towel and started to wrap him up and he bit me. Yes you read that right. This ratty little kitten with the yellow eyes and the vampire fang teeth, actually BIT me.
Within seconds I knew without a doubt he would make it. No matter what was wrong with him, he was a tough little guy and if my vet could see him before we left for Savannah he would be the companion Casey needed to continue his healing process. And so 324.00 later, a big bag of meds, bottles, cat milk, soft food, and kitty eye drops later, Lestat became a part of my small family. I didn't have children but I definitely had a soft spot for fur babies.
Three months later, Lestat, Casey, and I were in our third story apartment and he did not look like the same cat. His teeth finally came in. His parasites were gone. He had put on weight and had a glorious coat of black and white fur. His tendency for biting people he did not like, however, remained. Four years later, Lestat was present at every solitary circle, every reading, very familiar with my crystals, and would sit nearby and watch me prepare my altar for each change of season and Sabbat. He was the perfect familiar.
Fast forward four years. After a long and difficult pregnancy, Lestat welcomed us at the front door peeking in on our bundled newborn twin boys. He seemed to be especially attached to Bobby and slept close to him whenever he had the chance. Two weeks after bringing the boys home, Lestat woke me scratching and howling on our bedroom door. I checked the monitor. All was quiet. Lestat was nearly fantic in his scratching and had nearly ripped pieces of the door away. When I checked my sons, I found Bobby with a cold blue tinge to his lips and non-responsive. He was not breathing. Another nearly three weeks later and once again I was returning home with my sons. I spent the entire time there with my infants and I was told Lestat only left the boy's closed door to eat and visit his litter box.
Fast forward three years and my husband and I are now divorcing. We were separated for almost a year when I discovered yet another little miracle was on the way. While Lestat did not seem as interested in this bundle as the last two, he was also a good deal older. A few weeks after my youngest angel was brought home, our family was struck with a situation that would take over two years to resolve. My soon to be ex husband had taken my sons and refused to return them. I spent a good bit of time curled up on the floor weeping that night and Lestat was there with me, trying to get into my lap, purring in my ears, offering what comfort he could. In the months that came he visited the boys room and I noticed he was much thinner than before. When the boys were returned to our home, Lestat spent his nights in their room, sleeping with one then the other throughout the night. Slowly, a day at a time, I watched my sons begin to open up and move back to a place of normalcy.
Skipping time again. It is December 2012, the year of awakening, transformation, and truly a time of magick if ever there were one. Lestat is missing. We put up flyers, notices, left numbers, spoke to all of my neighbors, none of them had seen my little brat prince. He was simply gone, as if he had never existed at all. No tufts of fur. No foot prints. No sightings. Just gone. My sons went to Winter break for a week with their father. We had the second half of break. I called them nearly every day and during one of our conversations, my sons John said the most amazing thing.
" Mommy did you find Lestat?"
" No honey not yet. We are still looking for him."
" Mommy tell Santa I don't want any of my toys. He can give them to children that don't have any toys. I want my kitty. Please tell Santa to bring him home. All I want is my kitty."
And there my heart broke. The incredible powers women get when they become a mother to heal scratches and ouchies with a mere kiss, to mend stuffed animals with a simple passing of the needle, and the ability to bend time and space to keep dates with her children could not fix this. Here was the one thing my mommypowers could not fix.
And then I went to work. I have wonderful shop mates. One of my favorites is Carmen. She has a heart as big as Jupiter and always smiles no matter how bad things utterly and totally suck. And her daughter was standing in front of me with an equally big grin on her face. And a silver bag in her hand.
Inside the bag was a tiny meowing orange and caramel swirl kitten with a Santa hat and a red collar with bells. The hat was too big and kept falling over his face, which in kitten language is a declaration of kitty war. While kitty was mauling the Santa hat, and purring the entire time, I noticed his eyes, the color of warm carmelized honey. A weight was lifted. I could not give my sons Lestat, but I could maybe make John's Yuletide wish come true.
Carmen explained that this wee kitty was also a toss away kitty. Someone had taken his siblings and put them in a bag behind a local Walmart. They were crying and hungry, infested with critters, and two of them were suffering with eye infections while a third appeared to have a broken back. In the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think Lestat was going to be cranky when he returned and found a cute kitty had taken his place. Deep down I think I knew Lestat was not coming back.
Christmas morning the wee ones came home. The kitten was the last gift to pop out of their room. They were instantly in love with him. Amidst squeals of happiness and excitement, they were told he did not have a name. They were charged with gifting him with one.
He was not a Thor, not a Sunflower, not a Loki. Finally Bobby scooped him up and started reading him his favorite Scooby Doo book. Amazingly the same kitty that had spent the past few days zooming around at high speed and tackling bows, pieces of paper, chair legs, and toes, was perfectly content to sit and listen to the adventures of Scooby and Shaggy.
And so the name stuck. Three weeks later and the kitty still snuggles with Bobby and Bobby still reads him the adventures of Scooby Doo.
Somewhere in Avalon, a black and white kitty nods in approval. I believe he left us to pass quietly with as little suffering for his family as possible, but in return this little one who would not have survived the weather without food or shelter, now would continue Lestat's purpose. Even from the Summerlands, Lestat is still watching over and loving his family and Scooby Doo has become a beautiful long legged bundle of energy. Like Lestat he takes turns sleeping with his new family members. He tries to steal our chicken and he loves the ugliest orange chair ever created. Just like Lestat. Like Lestat, Scooby Doo is also a very lucky kitty. He will live out his life being spoiled and adored just like his predecessor.
But without the biting.